kidneys

 For the last couple weeks, my right kidney has been hurting a lot. I had the 24 hour urinalysis and blood work done the other day. I will get the results at my appointment on Wednessday. The name of my kidney disease is nephrotic syndrome. When I was pregnant with Connor, my body didn't handle it very well, and because of the complications I had, the end result was permanent kidney damage.

I was first diagnosed in January 2006. At that time, the doctor told me I would eventually need a new kidney, but that would be a long time down the road, like 20 years. Five years have passed since then, and we are down to 15 years. I read a statistic this evening that said on average, people with nephrotic syndrome die 13.3 years earlier than they would have otherwise.

With the pain I've been having, along with a few other symptoms, I am really worried this disease has begun progressing at a more rapid pace than expected. I have 2 children I need to watch grow up, graduate high school and college, get married, have kids, and everything else that comes with raising children. They need me around, too. They need me to be there for them, not at the hospital 3-4 times a week for 8 hours at a time hooked up to a dialysis machine. 

I'm so worried right now. I'm trying not to think about all of it, and just wait to see what happens at my appointment, But that is so much easier said than done.